She loves me not I remember 
Vigilance poured into such a simple sleight of hand 
Lonely in my embrace, I knew she wept! Her petals sighing, like a withering rose! Black my heartache with every word she spoke
 All my guts and vitals torn and All my shedded shame
 Merely to justify my final sunk cost fallacy... 
 Visions of my obsession, fading from my sight 
 With a heavy heart and heavier hand 
 She returns to Babylon!
 With a taste for solemnity She sleeps in an early grave I’ll take her life To satisfy my love tonight

 Laid bare, the quivering larvae Turned to expose my shame Drop dead
 Motherfucker
 I am the one who lets this go

 With a taste for solemnity She sleeps in an early grave
 With a heavy heart and heavier hand 
I know what I must do! Don’t be afraid, my dear It’s just a trick of the light Open your heart And trust the pallbearer

 No more desolation Opened wrist cries out in silence Spelled on the face, pure ecstasy A final climax She thought it odd
 Through tear-drenched eye, hearts racing My love never lets me go Staring vacantly Pale white and gloss-less skin, now stained deep scarlet Sealing a kiss on scant lips, she draws her final breath Unwieldy, my tongue moves to cauterize the flesh, sinking further into her walls Silky breasts pressed more tightly than when she lived 
I love her cold frame


She, entombed in a quiet seclusion Where even screams cannot escape The word “youth” no longer holds any meaning I pressed, and drained, careful to tease the scent Smile and show me radiance forever beautiful…

No! So sang the lachrymal morning to its gray companion “Forever you will lie in wait” and kissed the horizon I watched them dance, six alike since that night Left envious by the turning of the world itself… She lays somewhere that the sun can’t even reach Scorned, un-rotting and laughing-like, a refrain I come to believe: She made me worthless to myself I made me worthless to myself I made me worthless My satin lover loves alone, made happy as I leer to myself Sure as the sky runs out of light I loved her Now I love her memory You let me go too soon Tears can’t begin to prepare myself For what I had done to your heart And there is so much to fear in the afterlife In how little say we have in it at all
 “At all” is the penance I pay For keeping the world from you Knowing that it would break your heart (would only break your heart) Can I stay and live this lie? Just to stay true to you I took your life into my hands and stole you from Death So cast the stones From angel throes I’ll reap exactly as I sow If somber’d is my heart All I want is what’s coming to me What’s coming… My final chapter awaits…
 I let go of it all and watched as the nothing changes 
 Within my grasp, the relief I sought Rumored and faithless My stake in this: to make peace with myself
 With every step toward my destiny I am determined to stand up and face my life As one would rise and face the mirror It’s hard to even look
 Knowing I deserve so much better than this

One look over the vestibule Reminds of what I lost For you were so cold And lonely in my despair There was so much love still owed And in spite of affected rhetoric You could not deign to share any of it with me Still, desire is rooted deep inside envy and for the solemnity of language I am no match Glazing over the stationery, thin-worn from abuse I give into weakness Just for tonight… As the embers of the day fell And slid through the two-way mirror (split into four colors) I had turned and tithed, so sure If only to deny the sun (blinding me with its rays) I set my self-deception aside Enter the night your heart took on kaleidoscopic traits In black and blue ink all my fears were given form and became far too much to bear I wait Tearing through to grasp at something obscure To find… the truth The saddened shroud of a mist left in its wake Too cold… to touch 
 So lost inside I search the past To find an absolute When my eyes take in the space between the budlike twisted language 
I begin to notice striking characteristics Ornate descriptions of the love that she’d given As if written in lament, somber affections This time Through stained glass Unto my hands 
I see the convergence of past deadlines Vice pulled her closer to hell Like a moth drawn to flame Even as it drags me I refuse to sink into deceit The only difference between falsehoods and epiphanies Is that the former is boundless and the latter never comes cheap I would only lose When I fell into lust with you Salvation is far away from myself I’ll save your soul for the both of us By the powers vested in me With this, I can overcome anything My own strength never felt so right I will settle for nothing less than the “truth” Even if it takes all I have And with my seven sins I’ll absorb your guilt and purge it through resilience Just to kiss it goodbye And remove the veils placed carefully to blind my eyes I will be heard at the end of my day Drowning out your voices Because it’s become apparent In this trial by fire Only the living end up burned

No!

 Every sigh heaved a ton heavier 
 As that familiar state settled in
 Because when someone stands on your chest 
 Breathing in is only half the function 
 The walls begun to close in
 The melancholy assumed its form 
From there a revolution took root inside me 
 And spurned my nerves to fail 

 Cornered Again 
 Halted Process
 By A Sense Of 
 Gravity Unknown To The Ocean’s Boundless Fathoms One foot after the other As I try to collect myself Faced with the reality I was choking on my own vanity Nobody seeks the truth When the end result is worse than fiction The proverbial Pandora’s box was opened On morbid curiosity
 Tracing all over the words I was not meant to know “A tragedy far too great in ink might be your own” Retaliation against her “betrayal” Was nothing but a poor excuse I was too afraid to take my place as the letter’s subject I’ll never know how long she waited to Pool our hearts and bleed together
 I threw away the one chance I had left for my own redemption 

“Why? This is no fault of mine” But turning around makes it clear You cannot point the finger at that which is not there Leaving one choice Break all the mirrors!
 My despair gives way to hate Like a thorn in my side It never stops 
 What have I done? (What have you done?) I don’t know how much more I can take On paper skin Crimson spills The mirror’s glass splintered into shards I would hate the water for it reflects my face
 Boarding up the windows This is not enough Soon the farce Will end itself You’ll be shoulder to floor As Porphyria Once Went Regret Sadness Bathed within her ashes
 Hatred Malice Bathed in her scorching ashes I check my sides Caught off by the witch’s laughter I hear the voice... of Morgana Her words rang inside in lyrical lightweight tones
 In my head where thoughts are at war she turns to make her home She fed on my vitality much like carrion birds Feeding on the weakened Goading me to shed my mortal coil “Oh, son, I know it well Your ambition has given me strength and created your own hell” Desperate to make it end I scream into the sky (I am so lost) 
I made a promise to see it through And this cannot last Resolving to leave the damage done Tomorrow I will be gone

No one shall know of the pain I wrought 
In the attempt to "better myself" The ideal for which I longed was viewed
 Through meaningless dull eyes
 The saddened shroud of a mist left in its wake Lifted without so much as a thought Turned to face a living ghost 
The throbbing in my head Gives way to a chorus of sorts "Heaven might be too crowded for the likes of you" Virtue has stolen my crown
 Raped by the light of Christ "Heaven might be too crowded for the likes of you" Sobbing through a smile 
I can only lament this pathetic turn of events 

I cry out for the death of my love There is only one responsible The cursed witch - she’s to blame 
Dancing for your amusement I play my part as you Laugh from your ivory tower I make my way to her
 room To deliver swift abuse Quick to ascend the stairs We’ll see what comes of you
 As I enter her ancient chambers 
The witch has recognized my presence I clutch a knife to inflict a Flesh wound proportional to my hurt My inertia is cut short when
 I crash into the wall and then she Calls to dark forces and black magic Thwarting my final attempts 

 This is my last requiem for lonely hearts 
 Try and think of something quick To part the tiles and take me under 
I hated the life I threw away much more than you could know Yet when faced with its nearing end my body froze Out comes Morgana From her 
swindled and decrepit coffin 
 She called it "abode" for however long 
 And broke the silence “O how the stones Thrown against your bones Ache in sympathy And as you had known perfection Failure to know your heart had sown your downfall
 You could not stand complacency You turned it to something else With this 
 Breathe your last
 Seal your lips and close your eyes
 It’s over”
 There’s nothing left for me in this world
 As even the skies seem to agree 
The hour is ripe for my departure Oh the humanity One minute is all you need
 The walls are closing in and I don't think I can get away with it this time 
 The walls have closed

 In my final moments My martyrdom devolves into A tug of war between self preservation and the ego Settling for self conceit There is no room for hesitation Lest you appear a child playing with knives 

Slicing the jugular - this will be the easy part